In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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