If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
