What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
