we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
