Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
