I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I won't apologize to a one balled man
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
