he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize