dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
