I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You are the jesus of drinking
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
