she looked like the bat from fern gully.
there was a trapeze. enough said
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
