dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
