There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
