I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
His nipple licking is glorious
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