I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
