nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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