I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize