We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
