I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the day after is always just damage control
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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