OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
