In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
