super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
