with your own penis?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
