I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
