Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
