Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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