how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
