Sacagawea was the original milf.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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