kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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