I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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