if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
