im drinking this country out of the recession.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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