**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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