ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
