dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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