We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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