is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
