Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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