well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
