Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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