I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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