dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
