I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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