Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
