and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
vagina is talking i cant
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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