Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize