Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize