Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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