I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I want you more than these girls want KFC
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
