was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
