Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
