'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
