1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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