he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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