glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
