Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
