chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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