Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
