The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
