Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize