He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
