her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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