They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
