someone get that fucking seahorse.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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