Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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