so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
