Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
