She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
