Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
