is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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