i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hippo gnu deer
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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