so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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