The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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