Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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